We continue our look at some notable 1980s Christmas episodes by looking at a quirky Square Pegs Christmas that included a rare role by a parent of one of the students on the show.
Square Pegs was an interesting sitcom that ran for a year in 1982-83. It starred a pre-stardom Sarah Jessica Parker (who HAD played Annie on Broadway, so she was much more successful than anyone else on the series) and Amy Linker as Patty and Lauren, two dorky girls who plan to become popular now that they were in high school.
Each episode would open with the following dialogue voiceover:
Lauren: Listen. I’ve got this whole high school thing psyched out. It all breaks down into cliques.
Patty: Cliques?
Lauren: Yeah, you know. Cliques. Little in-groups of different kids. All we have to do is click with the right clique, and we can finally have a social life that’s worthy of us.
Patty: No way! Not even with cleavage.
Lauren: I tell you, this year we’re going to be popular.
Patty: Yeah?
Lauren: Yeah. Even if it kills us.
Okay, here’s the thing that is SO important to remember about stuff like this. What was innovative for the era should still be celebrated for being innovative for the era. Former Saturday Night Live writer, Anne Beatts, created the show, and she made a point to have a majority female writing staff. The music was also intended to feel modern, and there, they REALLY nailed the music. In addition, the series was female-centric AND was attempting to do Saturday Night Live-style edgy humor in the teen genre, which was rare for the time.
That’s really cool, and should be admired, but here’s the thing, “edgy” in 1982 looks pretty hacky in 2025. Heck, “edgy” in 2002 looks pretty hacky in 2025. For instance, in the Christmas episode of Square Pegs, we see the kids draw random names for a sort of Secret Santa deal at the school, and somehow, of all the students, all of the cast members drew each other. However, the popular girls refer to the dorky kids’ names that they drew as “The fat girl’s friend’s friend” and “the fat girl’s friend’s other friend” and, finally, “Ohhhh-weeeeeee…I got the fat girl!”
Amy Linker wore a fat suit on the show, and even with that extra padding, she looked maybe sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly chubby……..MAYBE? It’s bizarre how many jokes focus on how fat Lauren is.
Beyond that, so much of the show is just fairly standard sitcom stuff, just with very 1980s characters, characters who are EXTREMELY broad now (they were broad then, as well, of course, but even broader now). Do they deserve credit for being modern? Of course, and I love that it is a female-centric comedy that had a lot more actual jokes than its peer female-centric teen sitcom, The Facts of Life.
In this Christmas episode, Patty’s divorced father wants to reconnect, and take her to a cabin upstate for the holiday break, but Patty wants to spend Christmas going to parties with Lauren, and feels bad for effectively abandoning Lauren (who won’t go to the parties by herself). In the end, her dad (played by Tony Dow, of Leave it to Beaver fame), relents, and she gets to spend Christmas with her friends.
Feel free to write me at brian@poprefs.com if you have suggestions for other notable 1980s TV Christmas episodes!
