TV LEGEND: Neal McDonough refuses to kiss his female love interests in his TV roles.
Almost a decade ago, I did a legend about how Kirk Cameron refuses to kiss any of the love interests in his more recent movies since he became a born again Christian. In one of his movies, they even used his actual wife in a wig to get a kissing scene in the film!
This is an interesting territory, as we’ve also seen stuff like Larry Hovis on Hogan’s Heroes refusing to take his wedding ring off despite the fact that his character on the series was very much a single man.
As it turns out, the same goes for actor Neal McDonough, who Marvel fans might recall as Dum Dum Dugan in Captain America: The First Avenger…
As McDonough notes, “I won’t kiss any other woman because these lips are meant for one woman,” his wife, Ruve McDonough, who he married in 2003.
He was then cast on the primetime soap opera, Desperate Housewives, for its fifth season, and he joked about how he told the creator, Marc Cherry, about his situation. “When Marc Cherry signed me, I said, ‘I’m sure you know, but I won’t kiss anybody.’ He was like, ‘But this is Desperate Housewives!’ I said, ‘I know.’ He paused for about five seconds and said, ‘All right, I’m just going to have to write better.’ And we had a great time.”
However, he ran into a problem when he was was cast as the male lead in the family crime drama, Scoundrels, in 2010, about a family of criminals who try to go straight after the father is sent to prison. When McDonough discovered that the show would require love scenes, he refused to do them.
So he was fired from Scoundrels, and replaced with David James Elliott…
The series didn’t last past one season. However, the firing was very bad for McDonough’s career. He noted, “It was a horrible situation for me. After that, I couldn’t get a job because everybody thought I was this religious zealot. I am very religious. I put God and family first, and me second. That’s what I live by. It was hard for a few years.”
Luckily, Graham Yost, who had worked with McDonough on the HBO miniseries, Band of Brothers, then cast McDonough as the villain in Season 3 of Justified…
And his career recovered, with a long run in the Arrowverse as the villainous Damian Dahrk on multiple CW shows, particularly Arrow and DC’s Legends of Tomorrow…
So it all worked out.
It’s a fascinating thing to look for in future TV show appearances by McDonough, though.
The legend is…
STATUS: True
Be sure to check out my archive of TV Legends Revealed for more urban legends about the world of TV.
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…but would he kiss a man with those lips?
That WOULD be pretty funny. “Oh, guys? Oh, sure, I have no problem making out with dudes.”
It’s weird that he considers kissing someone in a show or movie to be compromising his morals, but playing a villain who brandishes guns at people is A-OK.
I recently saw an interview with Kelsey Grammer, who talked about how his late CHEERS costar Kirstie Alley handled kissing scenes. In rehearsals, she’d just lean towards her scene partner and say “Kiss kiss,” but not kiss them for real until they were actually shooting. That seems sensible to me. It keeps the boundaries pretty clear, and still lets the show get what they need to tell their story.
Comment writer John Trumbull actually put his name on that nonsense?
John, let me help you:
When you pretend to be a bad guy, no one gets shot by those guns. It’s all pretend. I guess you didn’t know that.
When you kiss on camera, it’s not pretend. It’s a real-life sexual act.
You’re a fool if you’d allow guys to kiss your wife the way they kiss in the movies.
Have you never heard of the MANY Hollywood marriages that have broken up by adultery that started in romantic roles?
On the one hand, I get it. But there is something just weird to me about not wanting to kiss someone on screen – it’s one thing to say no nudity no love scenes, but no kissing! – but you are okay with being in really shows and films where your characters commit murder and rape and violence. It’s a weird energy to put out into the world.
“Comment writer John Trumbull actually put his name on that nonsense?
John, let me help you:
When you pretend to be a bad guy, no one gets shot by those guns. It’s all pretend. I guess you didn’t know that.”
Just saw this incredibly rude comment. It’s not about really shooting people, John, it’s about compromising your morals in who you portray. So yeah, drawing the line at kissing but not at playing evil people who hurt others is an odd line to draw, IMO. Kissing your costars rarely has any real feeling behind it, so it doesn’t mean anything 95% of the time.
And on your comment “no one gets shot by those guns,” don’t Google Jon-Erik Hexum, Brandon Lee, or the fatal shooting on the set of “Rust” involving Alec Baldwin.
Neal McDonoughcan do as he pleases. None of you have any say in the matter. HOLLYWOOD has no say in the matter. After all, Hollywood is now basically a pervert who’s gone back into the closet in order to sniff its own farts.
Morals are real. People with morals matter. Those without them do not. You’re OH so welcome for me clearing that up for literally EVERYONE.
What does “morality” have to do with pretending with acting? I dare you to find a Catholic priest who would tell a parishioner, “Nope, can’t kiss another woman who isn’t your wife, even in a play.” It’s an absurd premise. That McDonough has decided to come up with this “rule” on his own is, whatever, you’re correct that he CAN do what he wants, but we can make fun of him for being silly, and following a made-up rule that no priest would ever expect anyone to follow.
personally, i have no problems with people’s morals, or lack thereof
but if someone has dealbreakers, why not be upfront about that before the contract so that all the parties know what they’re getting into, considering a hollywood production involves so many people (cast and crew), businesses (caterers, suppliers), etc
if a tv series has to be recast and remarketed because of a hard line you’ve had for years, that’s pretty silly. i’d make sure to never hire such a person in the industry, too. not because of this stance–it’s clear now–but because i don’t know what else he’s left out of the contract that he might just decide not to do after he’s been signed on
comment writer john alcott: being condescending never wins you points … comment writer john trumbull surely didn’t have any confusion that people who carry guns in roles are not immoral criminals, but YOU seem to have confusion about actors that kiss when playing a role … that too is pretend … it can be described as romantic or SENSUAL … but a calling it “sexual act” especially in the context of any actor kissing to fulfill a scene or storyline is a real stretch … I also find it interesting that you say “you’re a fool if you allow guys to kiss your wife the way they do in the movies” – so, you’re in charge, huh? the actor contracted to do the kissing scene is bound by YOUR rules … and so is your wife? (and anyone concerned that their spouse is going to kiss for a scene then run off with the actor/actress they are kissing is obviously in an insecure relationship … has it happened, that actors fall in lust or love on a set and it ends up breaking up a relationship? of course – but it’s not the kissing that is to blame – that relationship was pretty obviously not very solid, and their partner would find someone else to kiss, on or off a film or tv set) … bottom line: Neal McDonough absolutely CAN do whatever he wants, but if he has signed a contract for a role that requires kissing and refuses to do it, then the producers have every right to fire him … ALL boundaries should be discussed before contracts are drawn … no kissing, no nudity, no profanity, no racial slurs … whatever your boundaries are, be honest about them … if you chose to limit what you’ll do as an actor, then you are choosing to have less roles you’ll be up for… i used to be an actor, and I am friends with MANY actors … and there are times an actor finds words in his or her dialogue offensive, and they feel uncomfortable saying those words … you can certainly ASK if the writer/writers would consider changing or cutting those words, but if they say no, either hop to it, or hit the road … OR be so famous you have enough power to get that sort of change made … McDonough is not in that category … and, just like in pretty much every other job in the world, if you refuse to do something that is part of your job requirement, then you’ll be replaced with someone who is willing to fulfill what is needed.
Betterthan Hollywood: if McDonough does not wish to fulfill the requirements of a script that he was contracted to do, he certainly has the right to say no. And the producers have the right to fire him. I understand your negative stance on Hollywood – I agree with you, what’s been revealed has been very ugly. But that doesn’t mean every actor can now refuse what he signed on for and keep the job.