Today, we look at the time that Frasier Crane made sure the denizens of Cheers would be interested in Dickens no matter what.
This is “I Know Every Scene By Heart,” a feature where I spotlight notable scenes in episodes or films that I don’t otherwise feel like spotlighting as a whole (no knock on the episodes or movies in question, necessarily, I just really only want to talk about one scene. Although yes, often it is because I like the scene better than the episode/film).
Cheers was a rare series that was still mostly firing on all cylinders well into its run, as shown in this 9th season episode, “I’m Getting My Act Together and Sticking It in Your Face”
The main plot was Rebecca getting over her failed wedding to Robin Colcord, but the B plot was Frasier Crane trying to get the other regulars at the bar interested in his favorite author, Charles Dickens. He begins reading them A Tale of Two Cities, but right away, they’re making fun of it….
Frasier: Book the First. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
Norm: Hey, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Which was it?
Frasier: Just stay tuned, Norm. “It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness. It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity.”
Cliff: Boy, this Dickens guy really liked to keep his butt covered, didn’t he?
Frasier continues, “There was a king with a large jaw, and a queen with a plain face, on the throne of England. And… and…” but he sees that the others are turning away, so he ad-libs, “…and there was a bloodthirsty clown, who beckoned innocent children into the sewer, and swallowed them whole.”
The other respond favorably, and we eventually see that Frasier has been “adapting” Dickens’ classics to make them more acceptable, as we see the exciting ending of the novel:
As we recall… from Monday’s installment of A Tale of Two Cities, Sydney Carton was about to go to the guillotine and sacrifice himself. “When suddenly, an Apache attack chopper hovered above the guillotine, pumping hot lead into the crowd. As Darnay climbed into the chopper, sweat streaming from his bloodstained headband, he could be heard to mutter, ‘It is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done. It is a far, far better… butt-kicking I give… …than I have ever butt-kicked.'”
His wife, Lilith, learns of his bastardizations, and he asks her never to speak about it again, as he feels dirty.
Hilarious stuff.
