Today, I take a look at Ed O’Neill’s disheartingly out of touch take on his feud with Amanda Bearse.
This is Quite a Story, a sort of catch-all feature where I share short, interesting anecdotes from interviews or books that don’t really fit into any other feature.
Amanda Bearse and Ed O’Neill were cast members together on Married…with Children for all eleven seasons of the long-running sitcom. Bearse also started directing the show in the 1990s, directing 31 episode of the show until it ended.
Over the years, it has been clear that O’Neill and Bearse were not friendly with each other. Bearse has mostly done a “Since I can’t say anything nice, I won’t say anything at all” approach (I have seen here once say that she thinks that O’Neill did not appreciate it when she started directing episodes, as now he was taking orders from someone who he was not used to taking orders from), but nine years ago, in an extensive interview with the Television Academy about his career, O’Neill opened up with his feud with Bearse and it is amazing how much he doesn’t seem to get how poorly his take on the feud makes him look.
He opened by explaining how their relationship changed over time:
“But we didn’t get along that well, we argued about certain things… She changed a bit. I have to say that when she started out, she was gay, she was gay a long time. She was more or less the female in the couple; she was very, very feminine and cute. And then as the show… 11 years it went, as it progressed, the change took place where she then was the more masculine of the two. She had several relationships over that time, and that became kind of interesting because then as she became more masculine, she became a little more snarky. She could grow a tooth, as we used to say.”
She was “the female” in the couple? Ooph, buddy.
He then tells a story about her not inviting him or David Faustino to her wedding…
“I remember one instance where she was getting married to the more female… a lovely girl by the way, and the invitations went out and I didn’t get one, and neither did David Faustino.” So he confronted her about it and she explained:
‘This was a very tough call, but I just feel that you would find it amusing that me and Becky would come in tuxedos in a church and walk down the aisle, and you and David would be snickering and finding it funny.’ I said, ‘Amanda, what is funny about two women in tuxedos, walking down to church?’ I started laughing and she said, ‘See!’ And I said, ‘Well, you know why? Because it is f**king funny and I’m not going to be the only one that doesn’t think so.’ But it was funny. She had a little white tux and, to me, it was funny. But in other words, she may not have been wrong in excluding me.
How do you share that story, where the hook is “She was a woman…wearing a tux! It is obviously funny, right?” Ooooph….
Finally, he tells one last story about their feud:
Another time we got in a big fight over something stupid in the makeup room. And she said something about you’re a bully or something, and I said, ‘Well, you’re miserable.’ It was just bad… In front of everybody, by the way. And then I said, ‘You’re not very bright, is your problem.’ And she was bright, but in a way she wasn’t because I said look… She said, ‘I’m not bright?’ And I could just see her gearing up, like ‘I’m smarter than you.’ And I said ‘No, because I’ll tell you why. I have a button I could push. That button says ‘Get rid of Amanda Bearse.’ You don’t have a button that says get rid of it Ed O’Neill. Your button doesn’t work. Mine works.’ Now, this was a mean thing to say: I never was going to push that button, but it was true. I could go to them and say ‘I can’t work with her. I go or she does.’ Who goes? So that was kind of bad.”
Daaaaaang, man! What an odd collection of stories for him to share with apparently no idea of how it makes him look. This was WHILE he was doing Modern Family! This is not like it was done in, like, 1997, this was 2013! And he’s still telling these stories like they are charming little anecdotes! Weird stuff.
If you see any interesting anecdotes from interviews or books that you think would be worth spotlighting, drop me a line at brian@popculturereferences.com.
He was a product of another time. You can’t expect to teach an old dog new tricks.
I’ve experienced this many times in the indie film world. You can’t expect everyone to be not woke but simply aware.
As Brian mentions, this interview was almost 20 years after MWC went off the air. If Ed had professional gripes about Amanda, he had plenty of time to learn to express them. His stated opinions are strictly about her sexuality and how he was a bigger star than she was. He’s not even waking up, let alone admitting that Amanda deserves the minimum of professional and personal respect.
I’d seen these before, and while I am a fan of MWC and O’Neill, I totally agree they’re a bad, bad look. Ed at least acknowledges that he was “mean” and that Amanda Bearse was justified in some of her feelings and attitudes towards him, which shows some self awareness. I’d like to hope Ed’s evolved a bit since 2013. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if that animosity is one reason why a “reunion” special or whatnot hasn’t been possible.
The show ran 11 seasons but by about season 8-9 I think everyone was worn down. It still is a shame Fox never gave it a proper finale; they just stopped ordering episodes. The cast only found out about the cancellation from tabloids.
How awful. O’Neill has gone down a lot in my eyes now and he wasn’t that far up to begin with.
Dude, he admits she was right and he admits he was mean. He is literally telling you bad things he did and saying I know it was bad. How you think he’s out of touch is beyond me. Choosing to only hear half the story is out of touch.
“Dude, he admits she was right and he admits he was mean. He is literally telling you bad things he did and saying I know it was bad. How you think he’s out of touch is beyond me. Choosing to only hear half the story is out of touch.”
TRANSLATION: You didn’t really listen to the interview. That is a very narrow take on what O’Neill actually said. Finetune your listening skills, Jon.
The truth is in the middle I think. He admits it was a mean thing to say, I think the complaint is that he doesn’t seem ‘contrite enough’ which is a modern problem talking about this stuff. I think the main thing to get from stories like this is that it was probably much worse in all the stories he’s not telling. From her recent podcast she makes it sound like the show was cancelled because of him. And he does seem to have held most of the cards. Thats hollywood, thats the power dynamics. He does admit it was mean, and he admits it was his fault, so yeah, the idea that hollywood stars are supposed to get in front of the camera and sob to the audience and ask their forgiveness is a bit wonky. He’s right that MOST of the main cast doesn’t see her much, now she’s at conferences. But certainly this guy is catholic who grew up on the rough side of chicago and was a football player who then turns to acting.
I’m surprised you didn’t pick the part where he’s doing the voice of his gay agent. It was likely true, AND funny, but nowadays all such things are suspect.
I don’t think we need the guy to, like, prostrate himself, but just not repeat the same offensive stuff that he believed thirty years earlier while clearly still believing it. Like the whole “A woman in tuxedo IS funny!” routine or the “She used to be the woman in the relationship, now she was the man” stuff.
Please. This author shouldn’t be writing stories based strictly on their own opinions. That’s what biographies are for.
Please. This author shouldn’t be writing stories based strictly on their own opinions. That’s what biographies are for. No, I’ve never commented here before, but damn.
He thinks two women in tuxedos, walking down the church aisle is funny. You want him to lie about it? I thought my 5’3″, 250lb neighbor walking down the aisle with his 6’2″, 110lb bride looked hilarious.. doesn’t mean I didn’t love and support them. We all laughed. See, having emotions and opinions that may differ from others is a good thing. Otherwise, we’re drones.
The way Ed express himself about Amanda is similar to the way I imagine Al Bundy would have. As part of the script it might even be funny, but not in real life. Seems like Ed got kind of stuck in his character even after that many years. Even though I adore the way Ed portraid Al Bundy (and the way Amanda portaid Marcy) it seems like the success got to his head. But at least I suppose he was honest, but rude.
Why are you shilling and simping for her? I dont care about her, and what? Im right too. So is Ed Oneill, because every stick has 2 ends.
you sound like a bitch for real with your feminist take, good to know its an L blog.
“Please. This author shouldn’t be writing stories based strictly on their own opinions. That’s what biographies are for.”
That’s what the internet is for.
Ed took some of the blame. Amanda so far has taken none.
That doesn’t really make him look bad.
From what I understood the main problem was that after Amanda came out, she tried rolling that over into the Marcy character … who was not gay.